The devil-may-care attitude of today’s youngsters has set a dangerous trend
Dr Nimesh G Desai
Head, Dept. of Psychiatry, Institute of Human Behaviour and Allied Sciences, Delhi
The concern for the increasing instances of abusive relationships involving young girls is understandable. The obvious questions are who or what is responsible? Is it the new technology or is it the new generation? Are boys responsible? Or are the girls themselves responsible? The soft option is to hold the girls responsible, directly or indirectly, and advise them to exercise caution. The possible pitfall in such simplistic solutions is that they overlook the reality of the complex interaction between human mind and the external world. Most people would agree with the formulation of the problem and the solution but for the young girls who are affected.
Girls who fall prey to these phenomena are not likely to pay heed to such solutions. This is one more instance of the concern of adults getting converted to advice for caution, bypassing the complexities involved and possibly presenting a limited viewpoint. More importantly, are there possible solutions beyond advising caution? An almost universal phenomenon is for human beings to forget one’s own experiences of one stage of life after moving on to the next stage. It is ever so common for parents and teachers to say to their children and students something like, “We never did anything of that kind when we were your age.” If only there were a more valid record of what the current adults did when we were young, it would be so revealing indeed.
Let’s face it: the propensity of young people to get involved in potentially difficult relationships, including trying out the forbidden fruits, be it the proverbial apple or actual sexual exploration, is as old as Adam and Eve. Adolescence and young adulthood are replete with the curiosity and tendency to explore what’s not known to oneself till then, and this is coupled with the need to connect and bond with people in general, and someone special. These phenomena operate in the context of the external larger reality of the world.
The changing family structure, the urban “anomaly” and the increasing level of autonomy and freedom for young people are far too real to not be noticed. These are bound to affect the frequency and nature of all human relationships, especially for the young people. The hastily written notes or “love letters”, the brief interludes of time snatched for togetherness, the stolen kisses of the youth of the past are now being replaced by extended time periods spent together in privacy and more active sexual exploration and activity.
The carefree attitude of the young finds a useful avenue in the tools of modern technology like the MMS. The underlying pattern of human behaviour is not significantly different even now, the tools used and the associated advances like easy recording and storage and instantaneous transmission to thousands of people, make the social effects much more dangerous. The sheer scale of the public sharing of individual and private matters has taken a huge upward leap in many areas of life, and the same is true here.
Many a young girl enters into friendships or relationships out of curiosity and because that is the done thing. Gradually, as the relationship develops, the emotional bonds grow with variable amounts of physical intimacy and provide a thrill which for the young one is an altogether new experience. The exclusive and intimate nature of the relationship makes the girl and also possibly the boy begin to see it as love, or even true love. The level of trust created in such relationships is of a high level, and that level of trust with the fundamentally carefree attitude of youth, makes the need for caution and attention to the implications for one’s actions not very relevant. The youth of any time is keen to push limits in form and content, and the contemporary youth drawing upon the new technological tools like MMS should be no surprise.
Young girls struggling with their own issues of identity, self esteem and body image, the need for appreciation, recognition and care are more vulnerable than the others. On the other hand, young boys with their own issues of emerging manhood and the need to prove it to oneself and the others, have the tendency to demonstrate one’s prowess and capabilities and rejection or perceived rejection indulge in the act of making the MMS public. In many cases, neither the boy nor the girl involved may have had the intent for what turns out to be a public display of private actions, but possibly fall prey to the combined effect of their own vicissitudes of growing up, dealing with experimental relationships and its fallout, and the easy technological mechanisms. The solutions lie not so much in judging the young generation but in not taking the high moral ground, be it at the individual, family, school or community level and making sincere attempts to understand the youth as well as in helping them understand the nuances of relationships. Merely watching over the young ones or advising them is of no value. One good strategy is to impart life skills education in a participatory mode, dealing with issues in a non-threatening manner to help young boys and girls understand the value of relationships in building one’s skills for later life.
For Complete IIPM Article, Click on IIPM Article
Source : IIPM Editorial, 2008
Dr Nimesh G Desai
Head, Dept. of Psychiatry, Institute of Human Behaviour and Allied Sciences, Delhi
The concern for the increasing instances of abusive relationships involving young girls is understandable. The obvious questions are who or what is responsible? Is it the new technology or is it the new generation? Are boys responsible? Or are the girls themselves responsible? The soft option is to hold the girls responsible, directly or indirectly, and advise them to exercise caution. The possible pitfall in such simplistic solutions is that they overlook the reality of the complex interaction between human mind and the external world. Most people would agree with the formulation of the problem and the solution but for the young girls who are affected.
Girls who fall prey to these phenomena are not likely to pay heed to such solutions. This is one more instance of the concern of adults getting converted to advice for caution, bypassing the complexities involved and possibly presenting a limited viewpoint. More importantly, are there possible solutions beyond advising caution? An almost universal phenomenon is for human beings to forget one’s own experiences of one stage of life after moving on to the next stage. It is ever so common for parents and teachers to say to their children and students something like, “We never did anything of that kind when we were your age.” If only there were a more valid record of what the current adults did when we were young, it would be so revealing indeed.
Let’s face it: the propensity of young people to get involved in potentially difficult relationships, including trying out the forbidden fruits, be it the proverbial apple or actual sexual exploration, is as old as Adam and Eve. Adolescence and young adulthood are replete with the curiosity and tendency to explore what’s not known to oneself till then, and this is coupled with the need to connect and bond with people in general, and someone special. These phenomena operate in the context of the external larger reality of the world.
The changing family structure, the urban “anomaly” and the increasing level of autonomy and freedom for young people are far too real to not be noticed. These are bound to affect the frequency and nature of all human relationships, especially for the young people. The hastily written notes or “love letters”, the brief interludes of time snatched for togetherness, the stolen kisses of the youth of the past are now being replaced by extended time periods spent together in privacy and more active sexual exploration and activity.
The carefree attitude of the young finds a useful avenue in the tools of modern technology like the MMS. The underlying pattern of human behaviour is not significantly different even now, the tools used and the associated advances like easy recording and storage and instantaneous transmission to thousands of people, make the social effects much more dangerous. The sheer scale of the public sharing of individual and private matters has taken a huge upward leap in many areas of life, and the same is true here.
Many a young girl enters into friendships or relationships out of curiosity and because that is the done thing. Gradually, as the relationship develops, the emotional bonds grow with variable amounts of physical intimacy and provide a thrill which for the young one is an altogether new experience. The exclusive and intimate nature of the relationship makes the girl and also possibly the boy begin to see it as love, or even true love. The level of trust created in such relationships is of a high level, and that level of trust with the fundamentally carefree attitude of youth, makes the need for caution and attention to the implications for one’s actions not very relevant. The youth of any time is keen to push limits in form and content, and the contemporary youth drawing upon the new technological tools like MMS should be no surprise.
Young girls struggling with their own issues of identity, self esteem and body image, the need for appreciation, recognition and care are more vulnerable than the others. On the other hand, young boys with their own issues of emerging manhood and the need to prove it to oneself and the others, have the tendency to demonstrate one’s prowess and capabilities and rejection or perceived rejection indulge in the act of making the MMS public. In many cases, neither the boy nor the girl involved may have had the intent for what turns out to be a public display of private actions, but possibly fall prey to the combined effect of their own vicissitudes of growing up, dealing with experimental relationships and its fallout, and the easy technological mechanisms. The solutions lie not so much in judging the young generation but in not taking the high moral ground, be it at the individual, family, school or community level and making sincere attempts to understand the youth as well as in helping them understand the nuances of relationships. Merely watching over the young ones or advising them is of no value. One good strategy is to impart life skills education in a participatory mode, dealing with issues in a non-threatening manner to help young boys and girls understand the value of relationships in building one’s skills for later life.
For Complete IIPM Article, Click on IIPM Article
Source : IIPM Editorial, 2008
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