The subcontinent was partitioned 63 years ago. Even among the third post-Partition generation, it isn’t uncommon for families to give away their daughters in marriage to men from across the border. Relations between India and Pakistan are strained but nuptial vows continue to transcend the divide.
Take the case Zohra, who married a Pakistani in 1979. Now a grandmother, she misses India. “After living in Pakistan for 31 years I still find it a strange country,” she says. “Even today I cannot move around alone in Pakistan. I am always accompanied by my husband or my sons. But when I am in India I don’t need anyone. Delhi has changed a lot but I face no problems in moving around here.”
Zohra, the eldest of six children who went to a government school of Old Delhi, is married to Arshad Usmani of Hyderabad (Pakistan). She leads a happy life in Pakistan but is totally against the idea of marrying her children in India. Pointing out the flip side of a cross-border marriage, she says: “When my father died I was in Islamabad to get a visa. When I got the news of his death there were so many people around but none from my family. I missed my mother, brothers and sisters badly at that time. Similarly, last year when my mother passed away in Pakistan while visiting me I felt sorry for my brothers and sisters who were unable to attend the last rites.”
Zohra’s husband, who works in Habib Bank of Pakistan, says: “It is because of the peculiar kind of relations which the two countries have that the people of both sides suffer.” Zohra and her husband have made up their minds that they will not marry their children in India come what may.
Take the case Zohra, who married a Pakistani in 1979. Now a grandmother, she misses India. “After living in Pakistan for 31 years I still find it a strange country,” she says. “Even today I cannot move around alone in Pakistan. I am always accompanied by my husband or my sons. But when I am in India I don’t need anyone. Delhi has changed a lot but I face no problems in moving around here.”
Zohra, the eldest of six children who went to a government school of Old Delhi, is married to Arshad Usmani of Hyderabad (Pakistan). She leads a happy life in Pakistan but is totally against the idea of marrying her children in India. Pointing out the flip side of a cross-border marriage, she says: “When my father died I was in Islamabad to get a visa. When I got the news of his death there were so many people around but none from my family. I missed my mother, brothers and sisters badly at that time. Similarly, last year when my mother passed away in Pakistan while visiting me I felt sorry for my brothers and sisters who were unable to attend the last rites.”
Zohra’s husband, who works in Habib Bank of Pakistan, says: “It is because of the peculiar kind of relations which the two countries have that the people of both sides suffer.” Zohra and her husband have made up their minds that they will not marry their children in India come what may.
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